In a recent encounter with an ex girlfriend I experienced how powerful silence can be. I stopped talking because I realised that our words were also just a dance, we had said all that needed to be said, it was now time for our souls to connect and words were just getting in the way. They would muddy the waters of the few hours that we still had left.

The experience of sitting in silence had a profound effect on me. I was able to centre myself and sit with power in the face of the storm that was raging inside me. The storm passed and quietened with the silence that spoke volumes between us. To sit in silence with another you are connected to and are about to disconnect with is one of the most powerful things I have ever done. It allowed us to feel the other exactly as they are and not how we projected or wanted them to feel. There was no room for excuses just a deep expansive truth that was felt in each others hearts. This truth was what we both needed to hear. For each their own truth looked different and yet it was the same, for we had chosen to dance this dance together. In the silence we couldn’t make excuses or tell a story, we had to sit with what was. Knowing what we had said over the last few days had spoken volumes. We has spun a web of illusion playing the game of neediness, entrapment and then abandonment. Our words spoke of commitment and connection but our hearts told another story. The story that was not told, was felt in those moment between the words, but blindly believing the words we continued to dance. This dance spoke of a projected future that will never be available not if we continued to dance this dance. We are both attached to illusion of what our lives could look like and how this person could give us what we think we want. We also know that that the only thing holding us back from this dream becoming reality is our own inability to face our own shadow.

Sitting in silence with someone you are forced to face your inner story or you choose to sit with awareness. You see the story no longer has power in this space. We can’t convince the other of something, you can’t manipulate or control in silence. You can just be, and if you keep telling the story in your head you will see the story for what it is or you will get angry and frustrated. To sit in absolute awareness, to feel your breath, focusing inside you, feeling each thought as it arises. Knowing that the thought holds no power without a voice, or that by continuing to feed the thought will not change anything. The story we tell ourselves is our story and as long as we believe it or try to convince someone else of it we give it control.

Silence is an amazing tool that we can use to truly connect with someone. The language of true connection manifests through our energetic bodies. The language of the heart needs no words but instead presence and a deep awareness of self. Channelling our energy to engage beyond the physical. Embrace silence, feel into it, be it!


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